Tears of a Teacher

I pray for you my little friend

With your short stubby hands

And squinty-eyed smile

I pray for you

You underestimated Einstein

If only I knew what you were thinking

 

I pray for you

My beautiful tight-lipped friend

With long dark hair

And eyes that spoke of the world

And all of the amazing and scary things

They had seen

I wish you had spoke of them sooner

 

I pray for you my long-legged jumping bean

With feet that thought the ground was lava

 

I pray for you my curly-cued neck squeezer

Who chased me down in the sanctuary on Sunday

How come you waited five years to talk

And when you did it was almost “Goodbye?”

 

I pray for you my val-In-tin Picaso

Thank you for always being “the best”

And for delivering my card to me at lunch

Along with a hug

 

I pray for you my Conyers buddy

Who smiled at everyone

You didn’t even know me

And I wanted to know you

Everyone else did and I was jealous

 

I pray for you my friend for a minute

Who I saw but never saw me

If only I explored the world as well

As someone without their sight

I will never forget the touch of your tiny hand

Or the way your bare feet knew the way

Through the muddy grass

 

I pray for you Peter

You became the face of the boy

In the world in the back of the wardrobe

You had his same fight

And stubborn personality

And you became my muse

I thought if I could figure you out

I was meant to be a teacher

And I am

 

I pray for you

Yes, I pray for you

Once is enough

Once is enough

I pray for you and all of the wishes

In your wish journal

The ones we had to spell out for you

The ones you wrote on your own

And the ones that never reached the page

May all of your wishes come true

 

I pray for you in the back of the room

Too cool to sit any closer

You laugh because you think it is all you can do

But I know you better

And I know you would love that book

If you only believed

You could become a great reader

 

I pray for you

Who screamed and hid under the table

From a teacher who loved you

Who probably cried at home

Because she cared for you that much

And wished she could fix

What you were really hiding from

 

I pray for you

Miss Blondie

Who looks too hard for love

Because you don’t yet love yourself

I hope someday you do

Like everybody else

 

I pray for you little one

Who would never wake up from your nap

And screamed when hauled off your mat

And sucked your thumb raw

And bit when you were mad

I had to find a way to make you smile

Cookie Monster did the trick

And swings if we never went inside

You were my favorite little monster

No one’s first words

Should be the only ones you ever said

You were too young to hear them

I hope your vocabulary soars

As high as you liked to go on the swings

 

I pray for you

With your 22 cats

And clothes that don’t fit

I hope those cats bring you friendship

When you struggle to find it

And softness when life gets too hard

And solace when you need to find peace

 

I pray for you oh shy quiet one

With a singing voice as strong as a river

And as pure as angel whispers

We will know our Savior when we come to him

By the marks where the nails have been

Thank you for the bittersweet picture

Of what is to come

Never let yourself disappear

Your beauty deserves to be heard and seen

 

I pray for you who will not be overlooked

I pray that they understand you aren’t trying to stand out

You just do

That is you

I pray that you don’t get ignored

Just because you are always noticed

I hope people see more than trouble

And don’t try to drown out your voice

May you be drawn to the opposite

That you need to find in a friend

 

I pray for you

Refreshing sunshine

Never let the world break

Your contagious soaring spirit

I promise there is more light than darkness

 

I pray for you Ms.Giggles

Who cries herself to sleep

I pray to the Lord that when you wake

Your safety he did keep

I pray that you remember

His hand is stronger

Than any hand that ever comes near you

 

I pray for you dear girl

Who only prays for everyone else

I wish I knew what prayers to say for you

 

I pray for you child

Whose body does not show her strength

Who couldn’t climb up the steep steps alone

But tried as hard a she could

Carrying you up the mountain comes to mind sometimes

When I feel I need carrying

 

I pray for you Ms. Smart Pants

With braces buckled around them

Who will make for a very insistent

Parent or teacher one day

I am glad your parents didn’t believe

When the doctors kept saying you wouldn’t

You can crawl; you can talk;

And Babygirl, you’re starting to walk

May as well learn to run while you are at it

And challenge those doctors to a race

 

I can’t wait to see you all

When all of our worries are gone

…And hear you

…And hug you

…And cry happy tears

To replace all the ones I cried for you before.

Hey Pipa:
We miss you already
But what a life you have lived
A whole great bunch of years
And a great big family to show for it
I only spent the past twenty of them with you
And I can remember so much life in those years
I remember playing with Madalynn down in your shop
And exploring the basement for who knows what
I remember all the times that you and Grandmommy
Came to watch a race, a game, a meet, a competition…
I remember all the holidays spent here and there
Grayson, Conyers, Commerce…wherever
I remember a few beach trips
But lately what I remember has been so much clearer
I remember teaching you how to use your new cell phone
I remember bringing over Harley, and Scooby when they were little pups
You fell in love and didn’t ever want them to leave
But there was someone who wouldn’t have been happy if they didn’t
I remember asking you as I was hauling the puppies off to head home,
“Pipa, who are you going to miss more, me or the puppies?”
You said, “the spotted one.”
You must not have heard me right
Because everyone knows I am your favorite
But shhh…it’s our little secret
I remember you asking my first boyfriend if we ever held hands
I think I remember saying never!
I remember you asking my last boyfriend when we were getting married
We told you “next December”
You said, “What in the world are you waiting that long for?”
We laughed because you of all people understood
Then the rest of our time with you there was full of stories
We heard how you two lovebirds walked uphill 50 miles both ways
In hailstorms barefooted through barbed-wire and glass each day
Just to see each other
We heard how you should have paid attention to God’s sign
Saying you shouldn’t run off and get married all rebelliously
But no flat tire was gonna stop you from getting hitched
And thanks to your persistent pleadings she married you anyways
I guess a man that in love would say anything to get his way
And thank goodness your nagging paid off
And Grandmommy let you marry her anyways
Because if she hadn’t I wouldn’t have such a huge family
I have lost count of all of my cousins
I don’t know how your daughter does it
Better yet I don’t know how you kept up with us all anyways
But you did, and you have, and you will
It’s just now you’ve got the aerial view
And you can keep an eye on all of us at once
But I am going to miss you like crazy, you know
Who else’s perfectly placed hair can I mess up
I know I can’t get away with it with Papa Bud
But we had an understanding
And I will miss sitting in your lap
All 125 pounds of me
Even though Mom told me not to
Carrying a cane wasn’t going to keep me out of your lap
Sorry
As far as I know I never broke any of your bones

It’s hard to say goodbye
I didn’t know what to expect when I came
I have never done this before
I don’t like watching people cry
(So if you’re crying, please stop)
But when I got to your house
Nothing felt different
It was calm
Everyone was smiling
And not faking it
You didn’t look like yourself so I said hi and left the room
But then I realized that was silly
I sat with you for a really long time
We talked
Well, I talked to you and you tried to talk back
But you were listening and squeezing my hand
You were probably trying to pinch me
“Dat not nice”
But I guess my pinch count had reached its limits
I wasn’t scared to see you go because I knew where you were headed
But for a while it was just you and I
And I felt bad that I was the one with you
When so many wished they could be
I told you how much everyone loved you
But I knew you already knew
I got scared that I would be the last to say it
I leaned in and told you that I was scared
So you weren’t allowed to be
And you squeezed my hand real hard
I knew you meant “don’t be scared, because I’m not.”
And all day you were surrounded by the love of so many people
Even the ones who couldn’t be here
I both hated and loved the day
I am not scared to say it is a day I will never forget
Because it is a day that I want to treasure

It’s a good thing your sea green polo matched the curtains
Because someone noticed that the pink sheets didn’t
I know Grandmommy didn’t like them
It’s a secret, you didn’t hear that from me
But you can thank Mama Mac and I
We two women got three kings for you
With blue pillowcases that did match the curtains
They also matched your eyes
We miss those big blue eyes already
That lit up when you smiled
But I can only imagine what your eyes see now
We miss you but your house is not empty
You left us with your love
And there was plenty to go around
You gave us your smile before you went home
You made sure we each had a little piece of it before you left
So we could laugh in the kitchen after you did
I am sure God gave you a new smile when you arrived
When your eyes closed tears spilled from ours
But it was such a relief to know
You would cry no more
Our hearts are not hardened towards your new roommate
But now clinging tighter to his hands
I just pray that when my day comes
I can go home just like that…