Here I am Lord
Seeking to find you in some sacred way
Amidst the chaos in my mind
Trying to hear what you have to say
You are not looking for all the right words
Or poetry that beautifully rhymes
But lately I’ve had such a poet’s heart
And rhymes are what I’m feeling inside
In no way do my thoughts make since
As they seem to here on this page
But I’m just a girl who is longing for you
Though I feel you’re outside of my cage
I’m feeling quite trapped inside my own thoughts
Though they are thoughts that make me smile
It is those thoughts that cause me to text my friends
When it’s your number I’m trying to dial
I am in a box like a mime
Trying to reach you on the other side
Speaking a language that I know you understand
But feeling like a monkey speaking to a man
The words of my heart sound all jumbled when spoken
The pain that I have, at times, leaves me broken
I dream wonderful dreams when I am awake
Then in my sleep my dreams or epilepsy makes me quake
My health is so healthy one day and then not
The voices that tell me to quit I have fought
But this fight is leaving my heart weak and unsure
Lord on my thoughts grant a heavenly cure
I want to pour every thought out to you
But I seek loving people before I seek you
Then when I come to you I feel all shared out
And it’s my walk with you that I begin to doubt
I know I felt you as close as my skin
But I must say it’s been a while since then
I wonder if there is something I can do
To feel that way when I come to you
Some days I would hear you as if you were here
Not just beside me but whispering in my ear
Now I feel like a baby trying to speak to a lion
Or the lamb that just longs to sit down beside him
And play with his mane or snuggle up close
Or roll in the grass and tell lots of jokes
Or just try to take one more step closer
And somehow feel a little less like a loner
A lamb in an exhibit that is filled with grown lions
Me in the corner so scared that I’m cryin
Yes I’m the lamb who has been captivated
Feeling my life is way too overrated
To make company with a creature so great
So ashamed of my size I won’t show my face
Now I can feel you creeping my way
Softly and slowly as to not scare me away
I hear not quite a growl but more than a purr
Then I feel the touch of your bristly fur
Still I am trembling in your company
I know if I open my eyes I will see
Your large brown eyes staring right into mine
With a love so captivating it can’t be defined
Yet I wait and I wonder just what I will say
When I turn and look into your holy face
But tonight I can’t do it, I don’t feel strong enough
To lay my heart out there and hope it’s enough
I know that it is but I’m frozen here in the grass
Wishing this fright in my heart would just pass
But tonight will you just lay down within my reach
And wait until tomorrow, maybe then I might breach
This fear that’s been building a wall around me
So I can let my heart love you as you have loved me
Tonight I am feeling like a middle school girl
Back in that place where boys were my world
When I had a huge crush on a boy in my class
I would turn my head away when he passed
Afraid he would hear my heart beat so fast
Thought those times in my life were way in the past
But now I remember I felt almost the same
When I learned Mr. Strauss had a first name
All I wanted to do was to have him for company
But I wondered why he would want to make time for me
So when I saw him glancing my way
I would look at the ground not to give it away
All the things I had conjured inside of my head
I just knew that my thoughts would be easily read
And ever since the day I first looked into his eyes
I could see neither him nor I could disguise
The feelings we felt were felt by each-other
That he would be way more than my Christian brother
I know deep down that is what it would be like
Like falling in love again for the millionth time
Like making all of the right words rhyme
To put onto this paper what I’m feeling inside
For now I’m too tired to give you my heart
But telling you tonight how I feel is a start
And for now I will keep my face buried in grass
Hoping that tomorrow this longing hasn’t passed
To let myself love you with all of my heart
And feel once again a brand new start
Sometime tomorrow I will turn my head
And look into the eyes that cannot be read
From this side of heaven but I will sure try
To take just a moment to stare in your eyes
And let myself fall completely in love with you
Tomorrow that is what I plan to do…
Tonight may I feel you breathe as I sleep
You a strong lion and me a frail sheep!
Seeking to find you in some sacred way
Amidst the chaos in my mind
Trying to hear what you have to say
You are not looking for all the right words
Or poetry that beautifully rhymes
But lately I’ve had such a poet’s heart
And rhymes are what I’m feeling inside
In no way do my thoughts make since
As they seem to here on this page
But I’m just a girl who is longing for you
Though I feel you’re outside of my cage
I’m feeling quite trapped inside my own thoughts
Though they are thoughts that make me smile
It is those thoughts that cause me to text my friends
When it’s your number I’m trying to dial
I am in a box like a mime
Trying to reach you on the other side
Speaking a language that I know you understand
But feeling like a monkey speaking to a man
The words of my heart sound all jumbled when spoken
The pain that I have, at times, leaves me broken
I dream wonderful dreams when I am awake
Then in my sleep my dreams or epilepsy makes me quake
My health is so healthy one day and then not
The voices that tell me to quit I have fought
But this fight is leaving my heart weak and unsure
Lord on my thoughts grant a heavenly cure
I want to pour every thought out to you
But I seek loving people before I seek you
Then when I come to you I feel all shared out
And it’s my walk with you that I begin to doubt
I know I felt you as close as my skin
But I must say it’s been a while since then
I wonder if there is something I can do
To feel that way when I come to you
Some days I would hear you as if you were here
Not just beside me but whispering in my ear
Now I feel like a baby trying to speak to a lion
Or the lamb that just longs to sit down beside him
And play with his mane or snuggle up close
Or roll in the grass and tell lots of jokes
Or just try to take one more step closer
And somehow feel a little less like a loner
A lamb in an exhibit that is filled with grown lions
Me in the corner so scared that I’m cryin
Yes I’m the lamb who has been captivated
Feeling my life is way too overrated
To make company with a creature so great
So ashamed of my size I won’t show my face
Now I can feel you creeping my way
Softly and slowly as to not scare me away
I hear not quite a growl but more than a purr
Then I feel the touch of your bristly fur
Still I am trembling in your company
I know if I open my eyes I will see
Your large brown eyes staring right into mine
With a love so captivating it can’t be defined
Yet I wait and I wonder just what I will say
When I turn and look into your holy face
But tonight I can’t do it, I don’t feel strong enough
To lay my heart out there and hope it’s enough
I know that it is but I’m frozen here in the grass
Wishing this fright in my heart would just pass
But tonight will you just lay down within my reach
And wait until tomorrow, maybe then I might breach
This fear that’s been building a wall around me
So I can let my heart love you as you have loved me
Tonight I am feeling like a middle school girl
Back in that place where boys were my world
When I had a huge crush on a boy in my class
I would turn my head away when he passed
Afraid he would hear my heart beat so fast
Thought those times in my life were way in the past
But now I remember I felt almost the same
When I learned Mr. Strauss had a first name
All I wanted to do was to have him for company
But I wondered why he would want to make time for me
So when I saw him glancing my way
I would look at the ground not to give it away
All the things I had conjured inside of my head
I just knew that my thoughts would be easily read
And ever since the day I first looked into his eyes
I could see neither him nor I could disguise
The feelings we felt were felt by each-other
That he would be way more than my Christian brother
I know deep down that is what it would be like
Like falling in love again for the millionth time
Like making all of the right words rhyme
To put onto this paper what I’m feeling inside
For now I’m too tired to give you my heart
But telling you tonight how I feel is a start
And for now I will keep my face buried in grass
Hoping that tomorrow this longing hasn’t passed
To let myself love you with all of my heart
And feel once again a brand new start
Sometime tomorrow I will turn my head
And look into the eyes that cannot be read
From this side of heaven but I will sure try
To take just a moment to stare in your eyes
And let myself fall completely in love with you
Tomorrow that is what I plan to do…
Tonight may I feel you breathe as I sleep
You a strong lion and me a frail sheep!