Not Feeling Quite Me

1-15-09
Tonight, broken, I came to you
To hear you speak as I always do
Each week from Jason or Paul at CRU
Tonight I heard you say in a song
“Child of weakness, be strong
You are weak so you must pray
And find in me thine all in all.”
Lord you paid it all
And all to you I owe
While I’m sick you’re watching me
With love down here below
For me you sent your son
To suffer in my place
So when my face is pale
I will seek my Savior’s face
You have been there before
When my body had nothing to give
When I could barely get out of bed
You said, through me, you can live
When I’m not feeling myself
You take me just as I am
Feeling like no one can love me like this
You send people who try to understand
When someone thinks it is all in my head
You know how I feel down inside
When I am hard to be around
Beside me I know you’ll abide
Recently a smile is hard for me to find
Even though I am blessed with loving friends
And you’ve placed in my path great people who care
I struggle to show how I am grateful for them
Because the real me seems lost somewhere
Why am I feeling this way today?
Why can’t I be me when my head’s not quite right?
Why do I struggle to get through the day?
Fighting to smile is something I never have to do
It is such a hard concept for me to grasp
I wish this was over as quick as it came
I just want this sickness to pass
But here I am laying my life at your feet
Cause I know this is how you have planned it to be
Faith and trust is all I have left
And love in my life that conquers all things
This battle I’m fighting was already won
So in all of this I must try to remember
The things of this world were conquered by your son
I still have you and incredible people with me
For that I’m more grateful than I appear to be
Open up my eyes so that I might see
The light in the darkness that lives within me