Prodigal Daughter

1-9-09
Your love wakes me up in the morning
But I grumble as I roll out of bed
To slip on a swimsuit and jacket
And swim like I wish I were dead
From the time I emerge from the covers
To the time that our pool practice ends
Never once did I whisper “good morning”
To the one who I call my best friend
Fall is my favorite season of all
But I despise walking back in the cold
I fail to notice the beautiful trees
With leaves of red, orange, and gold
After complaining about the weather outside
I go back to my dorm for a shower
I let the water warm my cold skin
But I let the insides stay sour
After I stress for my upcoming test
I see my weathered Bible
Sitting there beside my desk
A pain starts to form in my stomach
And inside I just want to cower
Cause there’s a man who let me live one more day
And I’ve ignored him for over an hour
But instead of stopping just a moment to pray
I see if I got any new messages today
I see a friend is hurting
Their status tells me so
I say that God is always there
Then say I have to go
Then I’m off to make a waffle
Cause waffles make my day
But never do I praise the Lord
That I don’t have to pay
I sit in class and I take notes
I study hard then fail a test
I know it’s not the end of the world
But still it gets me stressed
The after class I’m off to run
And I claim to be running for you
But deep down I just want the Mocs to win
I run for me, coach, and the gold and blue
Last weekend we prayed before the big race
“Give us strength to run our best.”
When the gun went off I was focused on you
Then I focused on me for the rest
When I crossed the line I felt so consumed
By negative thoughts about the race
Never did I acknowledge
That I had lost sight of your face
I gave every ounce of strength that I had
To run fast at the conference meet
Then I took the PR that I had just run
And laid it at my coach’s feet
That’s not where it belongs
My race was never his
He will never know my heart
Or accept it for what it is
His voice wasn’t in my head
When my body wanted to give in
It was you who helped me hold on
You were there beginning to end
And who did I praise when we won the race?
I didn’t run to you with a smile on my face
It wasn’t your arms I ran to
When our hard work finally paid off
I went and hugged the people I love
And the one who made it happen, I forgot
How do I so quickly ignore
The one who blessed me with life?
Why do I only jump into your arms
In times of heartache and strife?
I want you in the morning
When I grumpily get out of bed
I want to hear you cheering me on
When Coach says one more one-breath
I want you to cleanse my insides
As I shower the out
I want you to teach me with your word
How to love you from the inside out
I want us to talk as I walk to class
Not too slow and not too fast
I want to thank you for waffles
And everything else that I eat
And the roof always over my head
And the shoes always on my big feet
I want you to teach me to be all I can be
The best student, runner, and friend
To live in such a way
That people see the you that’s within
I want you to be there when I don’t call
And forgive me when I finally do
Because I’m a sinner who does things my way
When all I really need is you
I know that you are
And I know that I’m not
And I know that it has to change
I want you in all I do
Lord, help me cling to your chains
Help me draw near and share every fear
And know that you know
The reason for every tear
Take my hand and draw me near
Speak now the words I’m needing to hear
Open my eyes to the Devil’s disguise
Don’t let me get lost in all of his lies
Help me to see through a new pair of eyes
And chase after you all the days of my life.

Love Always (no matter what),
Your Prodigal Daughter